Validate Me

Photo by  channing.wu

Photo by channing.wu

My husband walked in the door after work and told me he was tired. I knew he was; he should be. He works incredibly hard for our family. But in that moment all I wanted to do was rattle off a list of all the things I’d done that day. I wanted to make sure that he knew I was tired too. I wanted him to know how much I had done and accomplished. I wanted him to acknowledge and validate my work. I am a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom to our children. That is my job right now and I do love it. I’m thankful that I’m able to stay home with them. I know many moms who would love to stay home with their children, but who aren’t able to do so. I am thankful; but it is challenging. In fact, many days I feel like I’m doing very few things right. There is no barometer for a stay-at-home mom, only thoughts in her head about how she’s doing in the child raising, teaching, and housekeeping game. My husband is a natural encourager, I know he knows what I do and and he is thankful; he tells me. But even still, these negative thoughts plague me. It’s caused me to look deeper into these thoughts and feelings and at the root is a need and a desire for validation.

This doesn’t apply only to stay-at-home moms. It’s true for all of us. Think about something as simple as a social media post. Why are you posting a selfie or a list of what you did today? Do you need praise from people? Do you need someone to affirm how good you look or how well you’re doing? I think these feelings are in all of us, but ultimately cannot be fulfilled by other people. The longing is a spiritual void that we’re all looking to fill. If our security is resting with our spouses, or if our need to have likes and comments on Instagram is where we’re feeling most valued then we’ve got some serious soul searching to do. Do we post things on social media as a desperate cry for attention? Silently screaming, "Validate me! Notice me! Look at what I did today, look at how sick my kids are, look at how hard my life is. Tell me I’m doing well! Tell me I’m pretty!"

Our value cannot come from people; they will let us down every time. Sure, it’s nice to be encouraged by others, but our worth can’t rest in their hands or in their words. Even our closest family and friends will let us down. We’re all human which means we’re all perfectly flawed. There is only one who is perfect. There is only one who will not fail you. He has created each one of us with purpose. Our purpose will be different for different times and seasons of life. My purpose right now is not the same as the CEO of some huge corporation but that doesn’t mean it’s less important, that I’m less important. Our God is the God who sees. He sees me and He sees you in each and every circumstance. He knows it’s hard to be a working mom or a stay-at-home mom or a single young professional or a divorced parent or a freshman in college. He knows that you’re up at 3 a.m. with a sick child. He sees you when you’re at your wits end with your teenager. He knows when you feel like you’re failing miserably. He knows you want to lose 5 pounds and get a nose job and get a new job. He sees you and He loves you and He cares.

He is your validation, your sanctification, and your righteousness. He is your reason for every success and your safe place for every failure. He is your forgiveness for every sin. He is the only one who can fill your soul to overflowing and tell you, you matter and you’re worth it. Jesus has approved and covered you once and for all on the cross, and He is the only validation you need.